5 Tips To Help You Cheat....And Get Away With It

This has been nagging me for quite a while. Cheating and getting caught. Now I don't condone cheating by any means because I believe in karma. [Only in the area of relationships.] Time after time after time, I see idiots getting caught because they don't use a little common sense. If you're gonna step outside relationship, cool. You may have all the reasons in the world for doing so; none of which I care to hear, but in the end you are still wrong. Hopefully some of these tips will help you get away with it, With you're cheatin' heart! become an effective cheater. I got all these tips from females. I've always said they are better at doing this shit than we are.

Tip #1

"If you gonna cheat, find a ho that don't live in the same city. Matter of fact, make sure that bitch is 2 hours away." When my friend told me this, I had to laugh. She broke it down in a way that you had to be there to see it. You take whatever city you live in and get a map. You mark your house on the map as the center point. You figure if ya girl is gonna come look for you she's gonna hop on the interstate cause it'll get her to wherever you may be quicker. If she's pretty predictable when it comes to driving as far as speed that's good. Take the Speed Limit, say in this case the highway speed limit is 60mph. In 2 hours if she maintains that speed, she'll travel 120 miles. That's your mean distance. If she's a 10 over the limit type of person, right there you have 140 miles in 2 hours. That's max distance. Always account for bullshit to happen, so 100 miles in 2 hours is the minimum. Now ring those distances out and there you go. If you're prone to go hang with the boys and be gone for long stretches in a day, the chances of her noticing and caring are minumum. Give her that courtesy call so she feel's special, and keep it moving.

Tip #2

"Sanitize." How many times have you left receipts, phone numbers, etc. in your pockets? That the incriminating evidence out of your pockets. Women go through pockets, because 9 times outta 10, you picked the week to cheat when she feels like doing laundry. What it the enemy of jeans? Ink pens. So women go through our pockets to make sure nothing in out pockets fuck their shit up. Save yourself he trouble by getting rid of it before you get in your car. This includes emails, IM's, and texts. You're kinda screwed on phone calls because those can be printed on the bill.*

*Even if you take it off the paper bill, the numbers still show up online.

Tip #3

"Wash your ass!" This should be self-explanatory. After you have sex just don't wash your dick off in the sink. If the rest of you smells like shit, but your dick smells like roses, what is that gonna tell you girl? It's a lot easier to explain why you smell good, than trying to explain why you only had time to wash your dick. [Sidebar: By following this tip it saved my boy from an almost immediate bust.]

Tip # 4

"Use a condom." You don't want this chick you were creeping with to turn into your baby momma. Also, if she knows you gotta girl, who's to say she ain't doing the same thing you doing? Diseases are out there and the biggest one is pregnancy. Because if you get the creep boo boo preggers....she will definitely become a disease. Save yourself the drama, and wrap it up.

Tip #5

"Keep it short ans sweet." If you are creeping with this girl and do so for an extended amount of time, girlfriend #2 will eventually want to be #1. When she has in her mind that she should be the number one lady in your life, believe she will make her prescence known, and start marking her territory. And when she starts marking territory, she will start doing bolder and bolder things.

"This one dude kept me around so long I though we were married. I got treated like I was his one and only so I figured, that other bitch had to go. I started being more aggressive and keeping him out later and later. Calling his voicemail and leaving messages of me playing with myself. I stepped my shit up." - Anonymous

Now, I'm not saying these tips are foolproof (we all know how a dude can fuck shit up), but they all seem like pretty common sense shit to do if you're gonna be doing wrong. All of these tips were told to me by women, so these are the things they are lookng for. Every last one of these tips were simple steps overlooked by many. Like I said, I don't condone it....but if you're gonna do it. Do it right!

That's my time.

REST IN POWER

Steve McNair

February 14, 1973 – July 4, 2009

Sometimes it be's like that.

I was sorta having a mental crisis when deciding what to write about. Was I gonna write about what I originally wanted to do? Which was the Male Guide to Cheating the Smart Way or write about all these entertainers kicking the proverbial bucket? I decided to just talk a little bit about last week. First Ed McMahon died, then Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died, then pitchman extrodinaire Billy Mays dies. Seriously, this was a bad week for entertainment. Now I was talking my highly offensive opinionated friend Royal King about Michael's death. I hit him with a text and let him know what has happening.

Kommen Sinse: R u watching the news?
Royal King: No....i'm on 2. [the bike]
KS: Mike just died.
RK: Mike who?
KS: MICHAEL JACKSON nigga!
RK: Which 1? Blk Mike died a long time ago.
KS: How u gonna say sum shit like that?
RK: Easy. U kno it's tru. The man was a music genius, but he wasn't all there. Nt hving a childhood'll do that 2 u. Besides he was bleached.
RK: Besides, he's still alive 2 me. His music still go hard.
KS: Tru.
RK: $100 all they talk about is neg shit. U kno how the media does it.
KS: They already doggin him.
RK: Oh well....he's n heaven wit Pac, Biggie, Marvin, Frankie, Sammie D, JMJ, Big L, Big Pun, getting bent.
KS: LMAO!



Anyway, RK hit it on the head when it came to the negative. They hopped all over it. Sad really that a man so great died in nothing but controversy. You never really knew how big of a role he played in your life until one of his songs comes on and you get to singing it. So many good times in your life can be linked to that man. I went to a Michael Jackson concert long ways back, to see the love those people had for him was crazy. He will be missed...both of them. [RK you are a damn fool. Now I see why no one likes your ass....LMAO! I texted him that and his reply was: I wasn't put here for people to like me knee-grow....LOL! Good write though.]

I'll tell you what though, All the Farrah talk ended the moment that dude died though. Farrah was my first wet dream for real. It may be TMI, but damnit if she wasn't fine as hell when I was just figuring out how my paynus works. In fact, I credit Farrah for making me realize I love women. I saw her, my dick got hard. I see ladies that looked like her...my dick got hard. She hung around for 4 years fighting cancer. Gotta love the spunk in that Angel.

Anyway, I wasn't gonna take up too much of your day, seeming as how, I can tell yawl already don't do shit at work. If yawl had the time to read this, I know yawl don't work. I'll do the Male Guide to Cheating the Smart Way next week. I got all these tips from the ladies fellas, and believe me this shit is interesting. Until next time yawl....

Rest In Power

Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson & Billy Mays

You get what you deserve.....

Apparently, some people don't believe fat meat is greasy. I was taught at a very early age lessons are meant to be learned. You all know what I'm talking about. You play with fire you might get burned. Stick something metal into a socket you may electrocute yourself. You play with vicious wild animals and they may eat you. Say it with me now....shit that should be common sense things not to do. I know self-preservation is high on my priority list.

Kommen Sinse's Life Priorities

1. Self-preservation (If crazed maniac is chasing me, I'll trip you.)
2. Getting money (Shit, money makes me happy!)
3. Getting head (I'm shallow....sue me.)
4. Family (See....I'm not that bad.)
5. Getting more head. (Knew being good wouldn't last.)

Anyway, you will never catch me in the woods in West Virginia because of the Blair Witch and Wrong Turn. Really....is camping in the woods that much fun to be out there trying to reconnect with nature? My opinion....no. Have you seen the inbred bastids in Wrong Turn? LMAO! If I wanna reconnect with nature I'll try to stick my pen.... I'm sure I can find a nice young lady to engage in physical activities with me.....naked.

I say all of that to say this, when you blog about people, especially famous people and you are usually coming as close as you can to slander without doing it. Expect to get your ass whooped every now and again. If you don't know or haven't heard Mario Lavandeira aka "Perez Hilton" got punched in Toronto, by the Black Eyed Peas tour manager. I don't like Perez anyway, so of course I laughed after reading this shit. Look at the sad look on his face. Yeah mudda sucka! You got punched in ya shit. Man up and fight back. The killer part is, he brought this on himself. I'm sure sometime in your lives someone has told you, you've told someone, or you've heard someone say, "Your mouth is gonna get yo ass kicked." That's why I have no sympathy for people who run their mouths, then get their ass beat. If you read the statement this dude said in an interview, you'd prolly be like, "What an idiot!" I guess he was never taught common sense lessons as a child. I'mma let y'all read the story about him getting punched. Click here to read it.

Well that's my time people. Until next week....

Introducing: Kommen Sinse & The Maintenance Man

I thought I’d take a quick moment to introduce myself. I’m Kommen Sinse. You can call me Kom or Sin if you so choose. Mr. Smart Guy asked if I could write a little something for his site. Since I’ve been knowing and reading him for quite some time now, it was nothing for me to do this for him. Let me see. I guess I can tell you guys about me. Hmmm....I'm that thing that everyone has, but rarely ever use. I’m that voice that you hear but don’t always listen to. The one that tells you I shouldn’t eat that cupcake because it’s gonna go it may go to your hips. Yup....that's me! Now, I had a long night last night. I had to work overtime. It's not jus a name it's a lifestyle....LOL! I can always find time to bless you all with a little something. I wrote this a while back, but I was talking with a lady friend of mine last night about this very subject.

The "Maintenance Man." I'm currently "maintaining" three females. Now, that can get extremely tiring considering I have to shuffle my schedule around to accommodate the time frames in which I have to work. My logic is if she needs it and she's not getting it from home....I will certainly give her all that she can handle. So here's the blog I wrote a while back.

Before yawl twisted folks get to thinking crazy and letting that hamster run wild on his or her wheel, this is another idea for a topic I got from Fatman Scoop's show, Man & Wife. Let me clear that shit up right now.

Now....we all know what the term "maintenance man" means. I hope we're all adult enough to fully understand that. But just in case some of yawl don't know I'll give you the definition.

Maintenance Man
A man who is called upon for simple maintenance issues a woman may have. For example, unclogging her pipes, knocking wood, or laying pipe. The woman is typically a YUPI (I have no clue what that is) who is not interested in a relationship, at least not with the man in question. The maintenance man usually does his job in the late evening and leaves when the "job" is complete. Maintenance man services are free of charge.

Definition from Urban Dictionary

Basically, Fatman and Shanda got an email from a woman explaining that she was considering getting a maintenace man while her significant other was either gone away on business or doing something. The question that came out of all of this was....and this is for the ladies....how often do you have "get it" before you call the maintenance man? Be honest now, because I know some of yawl are nymphos in disguise. And let's face reality....those toys you buy don't always do the trick. You need the heavy petting and sweating, the hair pulling, ass-smacking, dirty-talk that comes with physical interaction. If you have a toy that smacks your ass....you need to be committed into a mental institution cause you was dead wrong for buying that thing in the first place....LOL! So I ask again....how often do you need your sexual appetite quenched before you call me a "maintenace man"?

Inquiring [read: horny and nosey men] minds want to know.